In fitness and training and life, people talk about comfort zones. And how you need to push them, and strive, and force yourself to grow and you know what? Fuck that shit.
Comfort zones are fun. If you want to start exercising, and just get a feeling for what you are good at, what you enjoy, what your capacity actually is, your job is not to push your comfort zone. Your first job is only discovery. You can push it later, if you want – but you don’t have to. Pure movement is the pure expression of human emotion. It does not have to be forced. It can be exuberant, or subtle, wild and free, or structured and rationalised. All paths are valid. There is no point – there is nothing to be gained – by trying to push your boundaries before you even know where they are. Pushing your comfort zone, challenging those boundaries, smashing it at the gym before you’ve developed basic skills of movement, before you’ve got a sense of your capacity, that simply will not help you to progress. All that comes of that kind of approach is injury and if you’re after progress, that’s not how you get it. There is actually nothing to be learned by flailing wildly and trying as hard as you can, without awareness, without reflection, at some random exercise some dude told you about. If you seek progress, know your boundaries. They will surprise you again and again. God help me they will! Sometimes in a good way, and sometimes really not. But you do not need to blast them away – the more your understand yourself, the greater your capacity for growth.
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In exercise, and training, you don’t need to be disciplined or forceful. We are told we need to work hard all the time, but this is not true – this approach rarely results in improved quality of movement. Working hard, valuing effort above awareness and insight, often results in the development of inefficient movement patterns. One must learn to train appropriately to the day and the larger objective. This is a subtle skill that develops only over time. But I’m not going anywhere, and I’d hope that after another year of training, I’ll be better at it. For the beginner, discipline and forcefulness are irrelevant, and for the athlete, forcefulness is usually of lesser importance to skill or technique. For a person to be successful at a sport, they generally must be able to effectively apply power to an efficient and effective movement pattern, but at gyms we only value effort, because of the delusion that the reason exercise is good for you is because it ‘burns the foods’. I saw this discussion on The Project, apparently there was an online poll you could take – which Australian footballer has the best biceps? And they were asking – is it sexist? Which I found strange, because it’s the wrong question. It’s not about sexism. It’s about objectification. But sexism is the word people throw around when they think a thing might be problematic. In recent decades if you were male, you were relatively immune to objectification. But that gap is narrowing – we are heading towards equality – but not as we want it. The objectification that was once reserved for women can now be enjoyed by men, too! We are moving towards the point where all people, regardless of sex, are judged and shamed for the way they look, which makes for a bitter kind of equality. It would be better if we were moving towards the kind of equality where nobody is judged for the way they look. The other week, on the same show – it was hot in Melbourne that week – there was this discussion about whether or not it’s okay for men to wear shorts to work. I figure, get a nice pair of chinos or something, maybe three-quarter length, won’t look too casual, but that’s kinda beside the point. People are ashamed of eating these days. And I think it’s a terrible shame, that we are ashamed of our desire to eat. Because what is it, other than the desire to live? All of us must eat to survive, and ultimately, there can be nothing wrong with this. This exposes one of many lies: the desire to eat, even the desire to eat all the foods, is an act of self-love, not self-destruction. The will to not eat, however? What is that? I know so many thin people who fear food, perceiving it as the enemy, the adversary, the challenge to be conquered and overcome – because if the food wins, they’ll be fat. And I know so many fat people who perceive food as the enemy too, as the temptress that is to blame for their misery and plight. I know so many young, beautiful people who only feel ugly, out of place, or insecure about their bodies. And I think it’s worthwhile, learning to appreciate being young and beautiful – why? Because it’s precious? Yes. Because it won’t last? That’s half right. Youth doesn’t last. But youth and beauty are two quite, quite different things. As are sex appeal and thinness. They might or might not occur together, but they are not the same. And these beautiful young people, as we age, sooner or later it seems we come to realise – why didn’t I appreciate my beauty? I was so cute – why didn’t anyone tell me how cute I was? I hated my legs, or my belly, and look at these old photos – there isn’t a thing wrong with me. Why didn’t I realise? But it’s not about appreciating your beauty because one day it’ll be gone – that’s simply another lie designed to keep you compliant and insecure. The fear that your beauty will evaporate – all this reveals is the continuous state of feeling bad about your body – in the past, the present and the future. This idea that you should “appreciate yourself now, because...” is based on the threat of future ugliness. If you look back, and you see yourself as cute – why not now? Why is it lost? What is it about your character and uniqueness that you feel has vanished? It should not be “appreciate yourself now, because of the future”, it should be “appreciate yourself now, because of the now”. I’ve been reflecting lately. Twenty years is a long time to have been exercising. I started training at a Ninja school when I was thirteen; that’s twenty-one years ago – and I kept that up for a little over a year. At age sixteen, I started training in Southern Shaolin Kung Fu, and since then I haven’t gone for longer than a three month period where I wasn’t actively training in one method or another. It’s been a long time, and it has been very consistent. I have sometimes wondered why other people don’t seem to enjoy exercise like I do, but I also feel like I lost perspective too long ago to be able to work it out. I have explored a lot of movement styles over the last two decades, including: Ninjutsu Kung Fu and Wushu (Southern Style, Shaolin, Northern Long Fist, Cannon Fist, Weaponry) Tai Chi Qigong and Meditation Running, Jogging and Skipping/Jump Rope Acrobatics and Trampolining Weightlifting Yoga – Ashtanga and Bikram And those were really just the notable activities. I’ve also played around with fencing, cycling (often just for transport), swimming, Feldenkrais, Hip Hop, and some incredibly old-school Samurai martial arts (Naginatajutsu). I am, among other things, a sceptic. This means I require some kind of evidence, or at least a persuasive argument, before I really start to take onboard new ideas. It’s not the same as being closed-minded. Being closed-minded means you’re unable to take on new ideas, so it’s really quite different. I am also a bit of an idealist, so I will seek out good ways to achieve stuff, but I try not to invest too much time or effort in methods that don’t seem worthwhile. In this way, idealism and scepticism complement each other nicely. A theme I’ve been picking up on lately – something I find quite strange about our culture – is how we think of negativity and positivity. It often seems that being sceptical is regarded as having a negative mindset, whereas doing what you’re told without objection, question, or reflection is regarded as being positive. I have often heard people say things like “you just gotta do what she says, no thought, and in three months you’ll be thin” – but to me this doesn’t seem positive, it seems foolish. When you decide to (try to) accept your body and stop trying to lose weight or play to the beauty standard, it is often seen as being defeatist, as giving up, as being negative – as if you’re accepting illness, a poor quality of life, rather than fighting against it and trying to change. This is mostly spin. It denies the uncomfortable truth that illnesses often cannot be overcome by strength of will, and trying to do so without thought, without question or reflection, is unlikely to lead to an improved quality of life. And anyway, obesity and sickness are two quite different things, much as the status quo would like you to believe they are the same. Is it just me – or are we subjected to a system committed to destroying individuals? Breaking people down, making them feel worthless, and then what? We complain that people are too sensitive these days, and that wasn’t the case in the past?
Many things weren’t the case in the past. I reflect on the Paleo fantasy from time to time. Maybe they ate natural foods, and moved naturally – but you can bet your ass they didn’t diet, and they wouldn’t have shamed people for being fat. I can’t imagine a healthy society where all the time, every day, you’re constantly being told your body is wrong. It’s anathema to health. And then people wonder about low self-esteem? We wonder about the divide between body and mind – about the perceived dichotomy of body being separate from mind. We are split in two in our own perception. What about the (perhaps totally fanciful) time, when it was just I, me – not my mind and my body? Certainly not my mind versus my body – we have become so used to the language – your body is fighting against you! Your body doesn’t want to lose weight – you gotta trick it, dominate it, fuck it up for your own good. To move, or to be still... Seeking stillness in motion, motion in stillness. It’s a tai chi kind of thing. Still the mind by moving the body. Calm a restless mind. Surely you can’t systematically and intentionally exploit people’s fears and insecurities for money, over and over again, and then complain that young people today have become too insecure and sensitive? Resilience, strength – and then? The perversion of discipline? Discipline should not be applied so that you can become the agent of your own oppression. Discipline enables you to protect and care for that which is fragile, and to reject the pressure to hate – even in the name of love. I say it a lot – it’s okay. And it’s because I believe it is. We are all okay. Humans have an incredible capacity to both deal with suffering and get on with life – doesn’t mean there’s no trauma – but judging yourself for having to endure trauma – how helpful is that? Judging yourself to be damaged, or un-okay in some way – is that helping? And saying that it’s okay – does that invite procrastination? Or does it encourage convalescence? I don’t believe self-acceptance is the enemy of self-development. It’s a prerequisite. I’ve got type one diabetes, I’ve had it for 20-plus years, and I’m okay. My kidney function is great, my eyesight is great – I’m sick, and I’m okay. And if I were sicker, is that okay? It might not be okay, I might not be okay with it, but I’m still okay. Being sick does not make you a failure as a human being. We fear it, but that’s something else. So is it okay for you to be obese and healthy? Or at least obese and not-sick? Absolutely. It’s okay, and you’re okay. It’s okay because mortality and sickness is something everyone is going to have to face at some point. It’s okay, because it’s okay for humans to be human. And death and sickness are part of what we have to deal with in life. So it’s all okay. Bleak as it might sound, everything is as it should be. I’ve been thinking about feminism a lot lately, particularly after reading this post earlier today. But I’ve never been quite sure how to articulate what’s important to me about feminism, or what it means that I, a hairy weightlifting male, would value feminism. I don’t know if I’ll bring much that’s new to the discussion, but here’s how I can express my feelings the best, at this point in time: So – I identify as a feminist, and here’s what it means to me: I don’t hate anyone. The only thing that equality threatens is privilege. Therefore (a): I accept that I benefit from privilege that is denied to many, even if I cannot understand the extent of what this really means, and (b): I endeavour to share my privilege where possible, and be not exploitative of others, while (c): trying not to judge people for being different from myself. To me, that’s the essence of equality; it means not clinging on to my privilege, not being ashamed of it either, and adopting an inclusive mindset. That can be a bunch more challenging than one would expect. |