 All the time I hear people say they can’t love their body because body-part-x doesn’t work like it should, it doesn’t look right, or it lets them down. Do you stop loving your family and friends because they let you down? Because they don't look right? Because they get in your way? No. You love them in spite of these things. You love them because love does not serve itself, love serves what it loves. Love your body and serve yourself, and only yourself. Do not pander to the expectations of the critics.
People say how can I love my body? I don’t even have a favourite body part. Loving your body means not having a favourite part, because it means not neglecting one part in favour of another. It means not thinking of ‘parts’. This body is you. It’s all you. You are you, your mind is your body and your body is your mind. That’s what exercise is for – it reminds us we are not separate from ourselves. When you’re in the midst of training, when you’re forced into your own skin, you forget the delineation. And as you are worthy of love, ‘warts and all’, it’s not only your favourites that deserve your love. It’s all of you. Fat included. And anyway, how has hate been working out?
5 Comments
Michellers
10/20/2011 03:04:42 am
Rhetorical question, I know, but hate has not been working out for me AT ALL! These days I love my body most of the time. But about once a week I catch sight of something (double chin, fat arm, whatever) and think ew. And the minute I think "ew", I think about what I should NOT eat. It's amazing how singling out a body part to hate immediately leads me to thoughts of radical dieting.
Chris Serong
10/20/2011 08:09:10 am
I get it too. I suppose the thing is, hate and love are simple concepts. Being with yourself, supporting yourself through whatever it is you're going through... that's the experience of love, because that's a relationship. I think it was the Dalai Lama once who said that they don't really have a concept of self-hate in Tibet, not like we do - the desire for things to be better for yourself - even that, which we all have - this is a sign of self-love. The desire for things to be easier, nicer, better in any way.
Aiyesha
10/21/2011 05:46:58 pm
The number one thing that I wish for the people I love is that they never, ever, ever need question their self-worth. That they never need to work or search for the knowledge that they're worthy. Of course, the personal quest for self-knowledge and integrity is in theory something that I would never want to deprive anyone of, but that's not quite what I'm talking about...I guess I mean that I never want anyone I love to doubt their own inherent right to joy and freedom and a sense of worthiness within themselves.
Chris
10/21/2011 09:30:18 pm
If we could be as generous to ourselves as we are to others! In some ways, I think we are... There's a difference between inconsistency and hypocrisy, and I think we can learn how to treat ourselves from how we treat others, and vice versa. We want our friends to be free from stigma, so we say that we will not stigmatise them (we will not hold their weight against them). We want ourselves to be free from stigma, so we try to remove ourselves from the stigmatised group (we try to lose weight). The inconsistency exists in how we treat the same problem (stigma), but the unifying theme is that we want people to be free from stigma. If we could be patient, if we could allow ourselves to take a longer-term view, this... Well, I'm working on Love Part 2. 7/27/2012 05:00:55 am
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