You see it all the time at gyms: if I can remain muscular or toned, and lean, then I’m strong. I’m not vulnerable any more. I’m not weak. So we equate fatness to weakness, to sloth, but it’s a misnomer. It’s not that fat makes you vulnerable – it’s that training doesn’t make you invulnerable. Welcome to the human condition.
And the path to not hating yourself is not through physical change, flagellation or purification, it is through the practice of not hating yourself. Every time you tell yourself you’re weak or unworthy you make it worse. Every time you tell yourself you are worthy, you make it better. Hold no grudges for your negative self-talk. As with all things: practice leads to mastery. Practice telling yourself you are enough, right now, as you are.
And see the chaos of the world revealed.
It isn’t a hollow affirmation. I hate affirmations. It’s a statement of truth, that one day, you’ll realise. Telling yourself you’re weak only feels true because it’s exploitative. Just because it’s hurtful, doesn’t mean it’s true. The truth is that even though we are worthy, we still don’t get what we want. The world doesn’t care about obedience. The fact that we suffer does not mean we are deficient - it only means we’re human, and alive. But in time, through life, it might not get easier, but we get better at it.